Funny ha-ha

Saw this funny photo on the Twitter feed of one Courtney Roskop.

Bittersweet

We saw this one on the Bill Simmons vehicle, Grantland, and had to repost it here on the Clarion Content. As Grantland contributor Katie Baker put it, "When life gives you lemons, feed them to an unsuspecting baby.

Adults will do that, and proceed to laugh about it.

A text from last night

The Clarion Content is an avid follower of the bemusing and outlandish smut that is published over at Texts from Last Night...

The best one we have seen in a while appeared yesterday, from the 678 area code.

I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.

Whoa.

It is a tough job...

but somebody has got to do it.


First of all, you have to spend all day around Hooters girls...

Terrance Marks was named the CEO of Hooters last week. Mr. Marks had previously served as the chief executive of The Pantry Inc., a convenience store chain which has more than 1,650 units in thirteen states. Before The Pantry, he had done twenty-one years at Coca-Cola.

Marks was quoted in the Nation's Restaurant News, "I am thrilled to be returning to Atlanta and am very excited to be joining the Hooters team. The opportunity to contribute to the growth of a great brand like Hooters is extremely energizing to me. In just a little over two decades Hooters has become known around the world for great American food, a fun environment, and, of course, the iconic Hooters Girls."

Yeah, it is a tough job...

Read more here.

Tweet of the weekend

The tweet of the weekend^* comes to us from the Twitter account of one Abbey Robinson.

Everything tempting in my life comes wrapped in either a bow tie or a bojangles box. #southerngirlswagger

^*Caution this tweet may only be funny south of the Mason-Dixon line.

Disney characters breaking it down

Thanks to Courtney Roskop for tweeting about this bemusing video. We like, we like. It shows just because one wears a furry Disney character get up, it doesn't mean one has to jettison one's hipness.

Kelly Oxford, not pictured

Canadian Kelly Oxford is a droll, biting observer of the life and the world around her. Hilarious tweet she posted recently, "Sometimes it feels people who love Jesus forget he was a liberal Jew who hung out with a bunch of bros and a whore and gave people wine."

Internalizing

A fascinating little video clip here via the Twitter of Courtney Roskop.

Not at all clear on the context, but love the premise.

It would appear that the video game's characters are being played by actors who are musing on the morality of giving this kind of über-violent game to intelligent people. How would those people react? But before they can give an answer, they are interrupted by the squirrel and have to go back into shoot'em up mode. No time for thinking!

What a wonderful little Möbius strip of thought.

Tweet of the Day

Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you... heard from lyneka little

Thoughts and Prayers from the Dog

We spotted this wonderful piece on the blog, "Seens from the Backs of my Eyelids.

Dear God...Its the Dog

Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same story as down here?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car ride! Would it be so hard for someone to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What language do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, do we have to apologize?

Dear God:

Let's discuss the list of just some of the rules I must remember to be a good Dog. Do all Dogs go to heaven? Are some of these commandments more important than others?

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel.'

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I musn't suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

7. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

8. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

9. Shoes are not food.

What they are watching...Episode XX

Our look at what the teens and tweens of America are watching. We peer into their world through the lens of Youtube. You may have caught some of our earlier episodes, if not, follow this link and [scroll down].

This fascinating video was filmed by students at East Chapel Hill High School. It tracks cultural recognition. It is an eye-opening look, don't get to caught up on the youthful respondents, ask yourself how much better your friends would do.

Passover, a fresh take

Check out this bemusing modern take on how the exodus from Egypt would have gone down in our era of social networking revolts.



Hey Jews, recognize that Passover ditty playing in the background?

Credit to a denzien of Riverdale, NY for sending this our way.

You Tube

The Wisdom of Kelly Oxford

"Adulthood is the moment you switch from taking the occasional drug to trip out, to taking the occasional drug to feel normal."---Kelly Oxford

Snooki on Southpark

One of our loyal readers from Hillsborough, NC sent this internet meme our way. The Jersey Shore's Snooki is satirized in cartoon form on Southpark. We were drawn to the physical depiction of Snooki. What crazy ass shit Cartman and the boys are doing with her hardly matters, because they cannot debase her more than she has herself on the Jersey Shore. In Southern parlance, she has shown her ass. Of note, she has also literally shown her ass and been arrested in the last two shows. Yet throughout it all, Snooks remains human and sympathetic. She is just a kid.

Bill Cosby tries to find North, SC

A grateful thank you to one of our oldest readers for sending this clip our way from PA. And while the little old lady Mr. Cosby is speaking to is living in Pennsylvania, she is actually from South Carolina. North, South Carolina. Which is ninety miles southeast of Due West, South Carolina. Funny ha-ha.

What they are watching...Episode XVII

Our look at what the teens and tweens of America are watching. We peer into their world through the lens of Youtube. You may have caught some of our earlier episodes, if not, follow this link and [scroll down].

The kids they still love the physical comedy and the slapstick humor. The message is in the action, not some highfalutin reference or irony. Check out the satirization of country singer Kenny Rogers below doing "Jackass", the eighth graders who sent this video our way had no idea who Kenny Rogers was, nor had they ever seen him. They still found this video utterly hilarious.

The Birds

An amazing unscripted video...

Are these birds counting coup?

Certain cats, you don't mess with them.



Thanks to one of our local Durham readers for sending this video our way.

Jersey

People wonder why folks from Jersey have an attitude that can sometimes seem a little harsh, maybe even defensively aggressive, accompanied by bouts of lashing out and attacking, necessary or not...

It is because of videos like this. Jay-Z does a New York song, an inspired masterpiece about a New York state of mind. And some goofball parodies it as a way to knock Jersey.

Not using our bathrooms

The Marine Corps Marathon is in Washington D.C. on Sunday, October 31st. John Stewart and his Comedy Central cohorts "Rally to Restore Sanity" will be using the same area of the National Mall in D.C. the same weekend. Reportedly, this has caused the Marines to put their bathrooms on lockdown.

According to the New York Times, Rick Nealis, the race director for the marathon, said that on October 30th he would put metal padlocks on about 100 portable toilets he was setting up around the Mall for the race day. He was quoted in the NY Times, "I understand that they were having problems ordering Porta Potties, that they might have to go as far as Baltimore to get them, but I just didn’t want to share. It will cost me a few extra pennies, but it’s worth it to know that my runners won’t run out of toilet paper."

Stewart and his team will no doubt get much comedic mileage out of the situation, although they may have to go as far Baltimore to get their own Porta Potties, 217 of them in total, which are required by law to obtain the rally's permits.