Thoughts and Prayers from the Dog

We spotted this wonderful piece on the blog, "Seens from the Backs of my Eyelids.

Dear God...Its the Dog

Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same story as down here?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car ride! Would it be so hard for someone to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What language do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, do we have to apologize?

Dear God:

Let's discuss the list of just some of the rules I must remember to be a good Dog. Do all Dogs go to heaven? Are some of these commandments more important than others?

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel.'

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I musn't suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

7. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

8. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

9. Shoes are not food.